| Did you ever know that I'm your heeeerrroooo?? |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|01:47 pm] |
So my dear humanoids, we meet again. I've been busy, mostly detached from humanity; had moments of unrestrained anger interspersed with blissful contentment; displaced from my usual haunts, stridently loveless and ridiculously obsessed with music and Bigfish.com computer games.
I moved to Prahran with a friend into a gorgeous old house previously owned by an elderly Greek lady who had to be "rehoused" into a retirement village. The power points are at head level and the entire house is on various slants but the soil in the garden is dark and moist and I've been wrist deep in dirt since I moved in. My housemate is a good friend from work who is the white to my black; we're the naughties Odd Couple. She's sentimental, a snob, easily provoked yet generous, genuine and full of hilarious anecdotes that leave me wide-mouthed like a frog. I love her to bits. We're getting two abyssinian kittens and while my resolve that they won't be going into my bedroom is currently strong, I suspect I'm full of shit.
I'm reading various things - mostly horror pulp. But I've finally started The Satanic Verses which is like reading spaghetti. All curly and tangled and yummy in my tummy. I'm listening to Amon Amarth and Dark Tranquillity, all that Gothenburg metal. Sometimes classical guitar, sometimes ABC Classic FM. The television and commercial radio make my squick out like watching spiders run across your skin. I leave shops because the radio is on too loud and I can hear what they're saying too clearly. HA HA NRL PLAYER DEFECATES IN HOTEL CORRIDOR HA HA. I'm becoming more inflexible and intolerant every day and while that should be something to fight against, I'm too in love with myself to stop. The news continues to revolt me, particularly anything that comes out of my own goddamn country.
My sister and I are getting along really well. She had a cardiac "event" - the one we were always worried would happen. All that other crap melted away and we're closer than we've ever been. Strange. Unpredictable. I miss my brother so much, it brings tears to my eyes. he's home on the 30th of July, hopefully with his partner. If not, hopefully not too broken. My beautiful gay gay gay brother. Say it 'til you believe it. Work is good; I'm getting along with my manager. We've both tried so hard to get along despite having nothing in common that we've ended up getting along really well based on the tiniest tangents we could find. She brings me strange books to read and I dance in her doorway and we both boggle at how much things have changed between us.
God I'm fat. My size 16 clothes are having technical issues. I love my body, it's all curves and soft and womanly but I look at myself in photos and I'm fascinated at what I actually look like. My face is round like a Mayan's. I have boobs like whoa. I have almost no interest in sharing this body right now. Almost because it seems like a shame when I'm all fleshy and female and you know, these boobs. Most of the men I encounter are emotionally retarded though. It's an epidemic of duhhh.
So, what's up with you? |
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| Next time I'll break my leg, I promise. |
[May. 3rd, 2009|04:59 pm] |
So I fell down the stairs at my place, tore two ligaments in my left foot, sprained my ankle badly and badly bruised the other foot. It was going to happen but I didn't expect it THAT morning. I've been staying with my sister because I couldn't get up and down the slippy-dippy stairs. Came home today and I miss my nephew and niece so much already. My flat is cold and I want snuggles while playing Super Mario Cart and singalongs and secret missions to the kitchen at night for almonds and morning gigglefits in bed.
Reality sucks. |
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| That's how they git you. They're under the goddamned ground! |
[Apr. 12th, 2009|05:33 pm] |
I had every intention of being as productive as possible these holidays and I succeeded for two days. Then I put my neck out and now I can only turn in circles. Ze pain, she is bad. :( I called my mum for advice but all she could suggest was rubbing my neck with the handle of a wooden spoon. (Which I tried). I'm convinced taking any more Nurofen is only feeding the angry tapeworm in my intestines so I'm dealing with the pain au naturel. HARDCORE. *weep*
However, I did do some planting. Baby cos, radicchio and La Roma lettuce, thyme, sweet basil and italian parsley. I'll re-pot them once they start to go bonkers which I'm fingers-crossingly-hoping they do. I might have to get some netting to protect them from the possums who are working up the munchies dancing a tango in my roof every night.
Today for lunch I made zucchini bonuelos (kind of like a savoury doughnut but only slightly healthier). Tonight I have home made ravioli for dinner followed by strawberries in chocolate syrup. It's home made so I like to think it's healthy. I also like to think that there's graboids under my clothesline so that tells you everything. |
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| I'm boooooooored. |
[Apr. 5th, 2009|06:01 pm] |
The scene in The Thing with the dogs scares me half to shit. That scene hasn't dated one bit. In fact, rewatching the movie this afternoon gave me the willies. But fuck me if Kurt Russell wasn't a hottie with his grizzly adams beard.
Also,
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| ehn! |
[Mar. 21st, 2009|11:26 am] |
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This Is Why You're Fat is fascinating. Why is American cheese that colour? Why would you fry a cheeseburger? Why are fatty things put on a stick? There is not one thing on the entire site that I could consider eating. |
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| LOOK, YOU'RE NOT PERFECT EITHER. |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|06:40 pm] |
The best and worst thing right now is that I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love which all my friends kept telling me to read, and I was being spiteful and didn't want to read it because it's Self-Help! And Insightful! and Inspirational! And those words sound like Oprah and make me gag with the taste of sitting in a doctor's waiting room. I read an awesome thing which is too hard to explain in depth here but it was about the concept of "soul mates" which I've always equated with romantic love and I've always been wrong. And that "soul mates" come in and out of your life to teach you things, to stop you running full-pelt into another repetitive pattern of unhelpful behaviour and force you to evolve. There's more than that, there's some romantic love stuff too but that bit is too much for me to stomach yet.
I have such a hate-yearn relationship with love. I have started to equate love with duty as I get older. The people who I know I love, like my family, or my oldest closest friends, ask of me. They want me to do stuff for them, fulfil responsibilities, be at their beck and call. "Can-you-just-do-my-shopping-call-the-bank-for-me-drop-in-I-need-you". And so my relationships become slightly parasitic and I start to feel ill-used and taken for granted. And then I let that feeling infect all my other relationships and so when the phone rings I feel like WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME NOW? and put-out and it's so dysfunctional. I hate people having expectations of me and committing to anything that involves another person is suffocating. I don't want to feel like that any more but I don't know how to stop.
In other news, someone should buy me this hat. |
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| Writer's Block: Deal or No Deal |
[Mar. 6th, 2009|12:54 pm] |
Too much interest in me or too little. Greasy hair. He says aks instead of ask or replaces an fff for a thh. Actually, speech impediments in general. Thinking real life is like porn. Talking about money or material positions constantly. Thinks all girls like sparkly shit. Doesn't read books. Drinks too much. Puts pegs on his testicles. Drives with no consideration for his passengers. Whingers. Always takes the window seat. Talks about violence or guns or wars like he's about to ejaculate. Cheaters. Masturbates in your car. Doesn't have an opinion. Spineless ones that don't stand up for themselves. The ones with no chins. Lived overseas and now thinks he knows everything. Ones that say aussie, aussie, aussie, oi, oi, oi, without being sarcastic. Ones that always talk about sex. Thinks it's ok to ask someone to be their dirty little secret. Eats with his mouth open.
Well, you asked.
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| WHAT IS THIS? THE SNIZZISH INQUISITION?? |
[Mar. 5th, 2009|08:34 am] |
Twenty questions.
1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up.
My work PC.
A mess of papery proportions.
A coffee. (Skinny latte, one sugar, thanks for asking).
A Dan May print called "Pleased to Meet You".
A print of Maori faces.
( OH WILL YOU JUST CLICK FOR THE LOVE OF HENRY ROLLINS' NAKED! )
I tag you! I TAG YOU, GOD DAMNIT AND YOU WILL RESPOND. I tagsed: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) franno, idioticpoet, hipichic, clevortrevor, pruesaysit, quickly_9, rockcriedout, thewinterland |
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| Thank you, Officer Fuckmeat. |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|07:52 pm] |
Finally got around to watching Rogue and HellBoy II: The Golden Army.
Rogue was surprisingly entertaining for what is basically an Aussie creature feature. The Arnhem Land cinematography was stunning but Greg McLean (Wolf Creek) is still not winning any prizes for Australian tourism what with serial killers and monster crocs. I have a massive platonic girl crush for Radha Mitchell - I loved her in Pitch Black and she plays a similar character here so it was like Radha formula-porn. Stephen Curry normally irritates me but he had a couple of fantastic moments playing the annoying aussie tourist. I'd add it to my collection of movies to watch while eating dinner/sewing monsters/doing the ironing/sacrificing virgins.
HellBoy II: The Golden Army was silly but fun. Inspired and fantastic characters and del Toro uses the gorgeous Luke Goss (Blade II) again in a great bad guy in prosthetics role. I liked it but it felt like an opportunity for del Toro to use up all the fantasy characters he had stored up in his head since Pan's Labyrinth. I've never read the Hellboy comics so it could be that the characters exist in those story lines making my previous statement a load of bollocks.
I currently have 13 books to read and I don't want to read any of them. LibraryThing is not helping matters by giving me recommendations for books that sound better than the ones under my bedside table. I finished The Gabble - a collection of Neal Asher shorts and a Roger Zelazny collection that I picked up because it included one of my favourite short stories "The Doors of his Face, The Lamps of his Mouth" but haven't been able to finish the rest. I'm booooored. And restless. And want something to blow the top of my head off.
Luckily I have green jelly in the fridge. |
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| Misanthropy, my little friend. |
[Feb. 13th, 2009|07:20 pm] |
I'm very over the media's grief porn. When the entire nation is already feeling so traumatised about the bushfires, the media is jerking off over ratings and it sickens me. I also can't stand the opportunity this has presented for people to pat themselves on the back about how much money has been raised for red cross. This Aussie-Aussie-Aussie shit, this "no other country would react like this" crap, this "mateship" malarky. It's bullshit and self-congratulatory in a time when we should be humbled.
Ah, humanity, how you disgust me. |
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| My tongue tastes like volcano. |
[Feb. 4th, 2009|09:20 pm] |
I came home sick today and slept for 5000 hours. Sometime during that time, I woke up to let the plumber in and he fixed my toilet but god knows what I said to him. I probably babbled in tongues when I opened the door. Hopefully I flashed my boobs.
Just watched Repo: The Genetic Opera which was grand and ridiculous and now I am ready to lie down again. I'm not a believer in this detox business but I think I might need a full body enema. I think I have bubonic plague or similar.
Today is my Dad's birthday. If he was alive he would have turned 65 today which is really strange to think about because he died when he was 48. THAT'S AGES AGO. I hope he's been reincarnated in the body of a killer whale and he's just doing flips in the air and stealing seal babies off beaches and scaring tourists. What a rort! |
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| HOLIDAY! |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|09:17 pm] |
Ok humans, tell me where I should go on holidays when I get three months of Long Service Leave at the end of the year. Ideas so far are: Antarctica, Patagonia, New Zealand, Nordic Europe. I prefer cooler climes and like being in the wilderness. Antarctica is my favourite destination right now but it's so farking expensive.
So please humans, give me your input. Where should I go? |
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| Is that a cockroach? |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|12:02 pm] |
Yesterday I went house hunting with my friend Lizzybean. We're looking at perhaps moving in together but we wanted to see what we could get for our money. Appallingly, not much. For $450 a week, in the south end of inner city, you either get run down cottages with dilapidated kitchens or top floor apartments that look like the inside of a ship. All the doors had portholes. We were left demoralised, confused and a little insulted. So the search continues, probably in Richmond. Or, if I can convince her, somewhere in the southern tip of Argentina.
Afterwards I made a killer grilled vegetable stack and we watched 7 episodes of It's Me or The Dog, which is strangely addictive for what is effectively reality TV for dogs. I felt a little dirty afterwards but I washed it away with a bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate topping.
Today I am going to clean my house so much, I may get arrested. |
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